Coomer Party

What is a Coomer, exactly? Well, the short and simple answer is you, me, and pretty much everyone else who ever visits ThePornDude. The term’s been tossed around on the internet for a few years now, but hasn’t gained the popularity of similar online-era descriptors like neckbeard. Honestly, Coomers ain’t half as bad as any of those other groups I mentioned, as a Coomer is really just a common variety fap fan. According to Wiktionary, a Coomer is “A man who masturbates excessively, watches too much pornography, or defends the pornography industry against criticism.” Sound familiar?

 

Really, though, what is “excessive” when it comes to masturbation? Is there really such thing as “too much” pornography? Perhaps these are philosophical questions best left to stoned philosophers or the pedantic nerds of Reddit, though I’ll go ahead and say your conservative, prudish aunt’s opinion doesn’t count. Personally, I consider myself a proud coomer, as do the folks behind Coomer.party, a free and growing archive of OnlyFans porn. The joint has been getting steadily more popular since they launched last year, with over six million Coomers tuning in last month alone. Today, I’m lubing up and adding myself to that number.

 

 

Where’s the Coomer Party?

As a professional masturbator who spends his days and nights poking through the sleaziest corners of the internet, you’d think the word Coomer would have been a little more familiar to me, but I had to Google it to figure it out. Turns out, there’s good reason for that. The term has its origins among the NoFap weirdos who think they can gain superpowers if they abstain from jacking off. The original meme started popping up in earnest back in No Nut November, 2019. I hadn’t heard about it because I was busy jacking off.

 

 

The Coomer in the meme is an unkempt motherfucker, more like the PornGeek than ThePornDude. Honestly, if you’ve seen me banging pornstars over at PornDudeCasting, you already know how well I’m put together. I’ve even got the matching PornDude socks. Likewise, Coomer.party doesn’t come off like some musky basement full of cum socks and waifu pillows. The landing page is super fucking clean, with nothing but text giving you the lay of the land and some basics about how the site works.

 

“Coomer is a public archiver for OnlyFans and Fansly,” it reads. “Contributors here upload content from it, and share the content here for easy searching and organization.” It goes on to say you can view the content for free, starting by searching for content or creators. To call the setup simple would be an understatement, and I mean that in the best way possible. I like the immediacy of it, skipping the bullshit to let visitors skip to their exact preferred fap fodder.

 

The whole presentation is so clean that I turned my adblocker off and refreshed the page, just for shits and giggles. I did find some boner pill ads on the internal pages, but overall, I’m impressed by how little spam there is on Coomer.party. Free sites of all kinds tend to have some ads, and you can typically expect more ads on a free NSFW site. Certain genres, like OnlyFans porn sites and full-length video tubes, often hit you with the full power of the spam cannon, which is why I appreciate the minimal spam approach here. They’ve got to monetize somehow, but there’s really no good reason to ruin the user experience. (Check out PornWebmasters if you want more of my tips on running a successful adult empire!)

 

 

OnlyFans Porn by the Metric Fuckton

One of the best ways to gauge the health and quality of a site is to check out their freshest content, so I made my way to the Recent Posts linked in the Coomer Party header. Based on the traffic, I had a feeling the place was going to be hopping, but I was still impressed by what I found. They’ve got a fantastic variety of OnlyFans pictures and videos. Immediately, I was greeted by topless blondes, hairy-muffed masturbating brunettes, and cosplay MILFs exposing themselves. There are nude selfies galore, trans girls with their boobs and dicks out, chicks going to town with dildos and asshole fingering extravaganzas.

 

 

If I have one complaint about the setup, it’s that Coomer doesn’t really do content tagging. That’s going to make it difficult to find some of your favorite material, since you can’t search by fetish, outfit or sex act. You can browse and search by Creator name, so you might luck out if the girl has ASMR, BDSM or your preferred kink in her username. If not, you’re either going to have to do a lot of browsing or you’re shit out of luck.

 

I checked out Coomer Party’s list of Recently Updated Creators next and noticed a couple things. For one thing, users here are adding a steady stream of fresh OnlyFans content all the fucking time. The entire front page of new stuff, which includes dozens of posts, was added within the last hour. Every link on the page leads to a gallery full of the OnlyFans model listed, and most have been filling up for a while. It’s easy to fall down the rabbit hole of masturbation, even if you’re trying to be professional as you write a porn site review from your table at Starbucks.

 

To date, there have been over two million posts on Coomer. That number’s obviously growing fast, so it might be way fucking higher by the time you read this. Again, the high volume of content calls attention to the nonexistent tagging on the site; that’s a huge pile of content, with very few ways of sifting through to find your favorite stuff. I hate to see so much good homemade porn falling through the cracks, but that’s what can and will happen with this kind of setup.

 

 

Who’s That Hot Internet Attention Whore?

Where do you begin an official fap test in a collection with millions of posts? I wasn’t sure, so I made my way to the Coomer Party Creators page. It’s a 435-page index that reads like a who’s who of the most popular internet sluts. Belle Delphine currently holds the top slot, because of course she fucking does, followed by bigtittygothegg, hidorirose, bishoujomom and sweetiefox_of. I’ve been a fan of bishoujomom’s thick body, pretty face and sexy cosplay for a while, so her gallery seemed like a good place to start.

 

 

Since she’s so popular, her section has 1127 posts stretched across 25 pages. It’s a little unwieldy, but I ain’t complaining about the topless Jessica Rabbit pics or ahegao-face masturbation. There’s also a full-length titfuck video from OnlyFans, and I couldn’t resist taking a peek. Coomer.party includes easy download links, so I was just a click away from watching the babe play with her big, oiled-up jugs, wrapping them around a lucky dildo.

 

Coming back around again as I wrap this up, my only real complaint about Coomer Party is the lack of tagging. That video I watched is short but sweet, and everybody deserves a look. The problem is, the only way to find it is by flipping through Bishoujomom’s posts. You can’t search for titfuck or dildo or cosplay like you would on most other free porn sites. That’s going to be a real buzzkill if you’re trying to masturbate to specific niches, not specific internet attention whores.

 

The good news is that the site is a fucking goldmine if you’ve already got a crush on an OnlyFans girl or two. If you already know some names, it’s easy to dig into the stash and find exactly what you’re looking for. With over two million posts and hundreds more added on the daily, you’ll probably find any of the models you’re looking for as long as they ain’t super-obscure bimbos in the bottom percentiles.

 

Coomer.party has an unassuming, imageboard-style presentation with such a bare landing page you might mistake the site for an academic wiki. It only takes a couple clicks to realize what treasure lays hidden inside: a massive stash of OnlyFans Porn featuring the hottest homemade pornstars, cosplay girls, fetish models and horny girls next door. Type your favorite content creator’s name into the search bar and see what they’ve got waiting for you.